so once and for all...

Sometimes, people ask me, "What are you doing naked on my lawn?". Other times, they also ask, "Why don't you have a girlfriend?". The two questions are not related.

Those who ask the latter question often helpfully offer some explanations for my bachelor status. These explanations are usually of these two kinds:

1. I'm gay.
2. I'm a homosexual.

Well, I'm happy to report that, indeed, I am not gay nor a homosexual, thanks to Billy's Shock Therapy Booth. From now on, please come up with fresher, more intelligent explanations, like "I'm too busy", "No girl will ever measure up to my mother", or "Girls have cooties". Thank you.