why existential?

Okay, so yes, I've been naming everything "The Existential * of Overwhelming Beauty". Why? Well, I was supposed to write a candidate essay for Tau Beta Pi on the officers I've interviewed. Instead, I turned in the following:

THE EXISTENTIAL COMEDY OF OVERWHELMING BEAUTY

(Bare stage with three chairs facing the audience. BRIAN, JENNIFER and ISAAC come on stage, and sit on the chairs. Stillness. THEY exchange looks. More stillness.)

BRIAN: So.

JENNIFER: So?

ISAAC: So what?

BRIAN: What?

JENNIFER: You said “so”.

BRIAN: So?

ISAAC: So what?

BRIAN: Exactly.

ISAAC: No, that’s what I’m asking you.

BRIAN: Me?

ISAAC: Who else? Who else said “so”?

BRIAN: Everyone said “so”!

JENNIFER: But that doesn’t mean you have to do it.

BRIAN: What?

JENNIFER: If everyone runs around naked, would you?

BRIAN: What?

ISAAC: She’s got a point there.

BRIAN: (After a pause,) I wish I were naked.

JENNIFER: We all wish that. But... But we can’t be. They’re... They’re...

ISAAC: (Frightened,) They’re watching, you know. They’re all watching.

BRIAN: I’ve slowly come to the realization of that. Do you ever wonder? Do you ever wonder -- wonder why, why these people, they come and they... They watch us? Does it give them some satisfaction? Why do they come and watch? Like we’re... Like we’re some kind of... Like it’s some kind of...

JENNIFER: A freak show?

BRIAN: No.

ISAAC: A freak show?

BRIAN: Exactly!

ISAAC: (Proudly, his speech:) I know exactly what you mean. I mean, what, what are we all doing here? On this bare stage, on these three chairs, when reruns of Xena is on? What are we here for? What are we looking for? A little spark in one end of time, and here we are, forever striving for the other end, running, praying, getting lost, being found, hiding in corners, laughing, crying, walking through the misty blue, rolling through acacacademy, waiting, waiting, waiting. What are we waiting for? Whom are we waiting for? Whom -- who -- whom are we waiting for?

JENNIFER: (With a groan,) Let’s not turn this into Waiting For Godot, okay?

BRIAN: It’s way too early in the day. I’m not even drunk yet.

JENNIFER: Really?

BRIAN: Of course.

ISAAC: Hmm. I wouldn’t be able to tell.

JENNIFER: When will you get drunk?

BRIAN: In a few minutes.

ISAAC: Hmm.

JENNIFER: Sounds like a good time.

(Long pause between the three. THEY are bored and have nothing to say.)

ISAAC: (Suddenly,) I was a fat baby, you know. I won the fat baby contest. You wouldn’t be able to tell because I’m not fat anymore, and because of my lack of fatness, you wouldn’t be able to deduce that I was fat as a baby, and so you probably would’ve never guessed that I won a fat baby contest. (Pause.) But I did.

JENNIFER: Oh I get it. Now we’re supposed to talk about what’s interesting about ourselves.

ISAAC: (Puzzled,) I think so. Why else would he interview us?

JENNIFER: Ah, well then! I have a great story to tell. When I was three...

BRIAN: (Drunkenly interrupting,) None of you knows what yous be talking about you foolish foolish fools you you don’t know where it ends and where you begins and so you are walking around looking for loopholes in logic and reasoning and the fabric the fabric the soft sweet fabric of the universe and you are digging and digging into the loopholes deeper and deeper and you don’t remember which end you came in and it’s just a hole and you’re in there not remember where you came in and where you go out and so you stay there and you cook and you clean your room and do your homework and sleep at designated hours but you’re really just hoping that someone somewhere at some time will come and come and take you and take you to the door show you to the hole and take you out to the absolute breathtaking beauty outside the serene unbearable beauty the divine intercepting beauty... Of my mother.

JENNIFER: (Pause,) He’s right, you know. I’ve met his mother.

ISAAC: Is it that time already? Is he drunk?

JENNIFER: I don’t think so. This is normal.

ISAAC: We should stay away.

JENNIFER: Don’t say that. He might hear. They’ll all hear. They have all heard.

ISAAC: What if they hear? What if they hear?

JENNIFER: I... They’ll... They. Might. Know.

ISAAC: Mmm.

(THEY take another long pause.)

JENNIFER: (Suddenly,) I wonder why no one interviews me?

(ISSAC looks at her, and laughs. BRIAN punches ISSAC. BLACKOUT.)